


When You Know

by Araloth



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Feelings Realization, Getting Together, M/M, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 02:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20753096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Araloth/pseuds/Araloth
Summary: Buck's been having a rough time of it, but when he discovers that Eddie is bisexual he can’t stop thinking about it...





	When You Know

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this came to me today at work, and I wanted to try and get it up before season 3 started haha. :)

Buck drummed his fingers across the steering wheel of his car while he waited. That seemed to be all he was doing lately- waiting. Waiting on physical therapy. Waiting until he could go back to work. Waiting to put his life back together and put the whole stupid accident behind him...

He sighed. Buck had hoped when his cast finally came off things would start to feel normal again, but all it did was make him want to go back to his routine more, to finally get back to the 118th. Without his job, almost everything else in his life felt wrong.

Things with Allie had hit a roadblock too. As much as she wanted to be supportive it just hadn't worked out. Every time she was in LA she would remind Buck to take things slow, that there were other things he could do with his life besides being a firefighter, and every time she'd leave for New York or Chicago, or some other city Buck was all alone in his too-big apartment, having to watch as she got to do the job she loved. Something had changed between them when Buck had gotten hurt. Allie had known of course, that Buck's job was dangerous, but after seeing the ladder truck come down on top of him, she just didn't seem to understand how he could ever want to go back. She knew Buck loved his job, but it was hard for someone who didn't work that kind of job to really understand. And Buck couldn't explain it- not really. It was like Bobby said, some people just answered the call. Someone who had never heard it had trouble relating. They were trying to stay friends at least. Allie would take him out for coffee and maybe a nice dinner when she was in town. But it didn't make it any easier for Buck to watch his second real relationship go down in flames.

All of Buck's friends from the 118th were supportive of course, taking him to doctor appointments when he still couldn't drive at first, and dropping off food for him. Bobby had encouraged Buck to stop by the firehouse whenever he wanted, but it sucked being there when everyone else would leave to go out on a call and Buck had to stay behind. He saw everyone outside of the 118th too, but it wasn't the same. When he was working Buck basically lived with them while on shift, they were his family as much as Maddie or anyone else. But with Buck stuck as a civilian for the foreseeable future he saw them less. All of their lives could be incredibly busy, which was actually how Buck found himself sitting in his car, waiting for one of the few bright spots of his day.

He glanced up at the clock and smiled. Just another minute... Eddie had gotten stuck working a double today, so Buck had happily volunteered to pick up Christopher from school and drop him off at Eddie’s grandma’s house. The school bell rang, and Buck watched as excited kids of all ages started to mill out. Buck grinned and hopped out of his car when he saw Christopher. Christopher was walking with one of his teachers, smiling like always. Buck waved to the teacher and she nodded back. Eddie had already called ahead that morning to make sure the school’s office knew Buck would be the one coming to pick Christopher up.

“Buck!” Christopher grinned even wider when he saw him.

“Hey!” Buck jogged forward and couldn’t resist pulling Christopher into a hug. “How was school little man?”

"It was great!" Christopher beamed. "I got an A on my science project."

“An A? No way, congrats buddy.” Buck gave him a high five. “You know what I think this calls for?”

“What?” Christopher asked.

“A celebration!” Buck ruffled Christopher’s hair. “I’m thinking maybe… ice cream? But you wouldn’t like that would you?”

Christopher laughed. “I love ice cream!”

"Alright! Well, let's go then!" Buck opened the door to the back seat for him, and Christopher climbed in. "Say goodbye to your teacher."

“Bye Ms. Wells.” Christopher waved. “See you tomorrow.”

His teacher waved back. “Bye Christopher, you two have fun.”

Christopher smiled wide. “We always do.”

***

Two ice cream cones later Buck was pulling up in front of Eddie’s grandmother’s house. Christopher had gone for chocolate of course, while Buck had chosen Rocky Road, trying to ignore the potential metaphor for the way his life was going. Christopher had wanted to bring some ice cream back for his bisabuela too, but it would have melted along the way. A few drops of chocolate had already found their way onto Buck’s back seat from Christopher’s cone, but Buck didn’t mind. That’s why seats could be washed in the first place.

Christopher bounded up the steps to the house when Buck helped him out, excited to tell his great-grandmother all about his project too.

"I'm back here my love!" Christopher's bisabuela called out from one of the back rooms when they came inside. Buck followed Christopher back and found Isabel sitting in front of a long table, a big book and several boxes of photos spread out all around her.

“What are you doing?” Christopher asked curiously.

"Oh, I'm just trying to get some more of my old photos organized," Isabel said happily. She picked one of the pictures up and carefully placed it into her album. Buck caught sight of a baby picture and pulled it out. The baby was giggling happily, not a care in the world.

“Look buddy-“ Buck turned to show the photograph to Christopher. “Here’s one of you…”

Isabel looked at the photo Buck had picked up and laughed. “Oh no- that’s Edmundo. He was such a happy baby.” She took the photo from Buck and flipped a few pages back in her album, sticking it in with a few other baby pictures Buck guessed must have been of Eddie’s sisters.

Christopher grinned. “He looks like me.”

Isabel nodded happily. “You have the same smile and the same heart my love.” Isabel’s eyes landed on another photo and she cooed. “Oh and look at him here… his senior prom. He looks so handsome…” She passed the picture over for Christopher and Buck to see, and Buck froze.

It was the typical prom pose, a much younger Eddie in a good looking tux, standing behind his date and with one arm wrapped around them. Only Eddie’s date was another guy. Buck turned the photo over and saw the label someone had scrawled in loopy handwriting. Eddie and Jess… Buck frowned. Eddie had told Buck about a Jess before when they were talking about their exes, but Buck had just assumed…

Christopher passed the photo back to his bisabuela. Buck was still trying to wrap his mind around the picture and missed it when Christopher asked him something.

“Sorry, what?” Buck asked.

“Can you stay for a little while?”

Buck shook his head. “Sorry buddy, I would if I could. I have to go to a physical therapy appointment for my leg.”

"So you can get better," Christopher said, nodding solemnly.

Buck smiled. “ So I can get better…”

***

That night in bed Buck still couldn’t get the picture out of his head. So apparently Eddie was bisexual. Buck had heard the name Jess and just assumed it was a girl’s name, short for Jessica or Jessie. Buck had dated a Jessica once. Well, not dated exactly… But did that mean everyone else already knew? Eddie’s grandmother clearly did, and Christopher hadn’t been phased at all seeing his dad with another guy. Did he know? Had Eddie dated other guys since?

Buck wondered if everyone else at the firehouse knew. Eddie clearly seemed open about it. I mean he probably thought he’d made it clear to Buck right? Had everyone else just made the same assumptions Buck did? Or was Buck the only one who misunderstand?

And for that matter why was the photo sticking with Buck so much? His leg was sore from all the extra work he’d put it through during his PT, and Buck should really be trying to get some sleep before he did it all again tomorrow. Buck sighed and flipped his pillow over. He was dropping Christopher off at home tomorrow too, after school.

Which meant he was going to see Eddie…

***

Buck felt bad that he wasn’t being a better conversation partner. Christopher was happily filling Buck in on everything he’d done in school that day, and Buck was probably only catching every fourth or fifth word.

Eddie was leaning against the front door when Buck and Christopher pulled in, still bleary-eyed and in a pair of pajama pants in the middle of the afternoon. He had a big cup of coffee in his hand too, clearly still recovering from his double shift.

“Daddy!” Christopher bounded up the front steps and hugged Eddie, Buck walking up behind him and carrying Christopher’s backpack.

"Hey, Christopher." Eddies smiled. "How was school?"

"It was great! I made a dinosaur in my art class!"

"Wow!" Eddie patted his son's back. "Well, why don't you go set your stuff put away and then show me okay?"

“Yeah!” Christopher took his backpack from Buck and hurried into the house.

Eddie smiled, a little more wearily at Buck. “Thanks again for picking him up.”

"Oh, no problem man…" Buck shifted awkwardly from foot to foot.

Eddie frowned. “What’s up?”

"So uh-" Buck swallowed hard. "You're bisexual…"

Eddie gave Buck a confused smile as if Buck had just pointed up at the sky and announced he thought the brightly glowing ball might be the sun. "Yeah? You knew that…"

“Right…” Buck totally knew that-now.

***

For a while that was it. Buck put the photo from his mind and went back to devoting everything he had to getting back to work. The PT was still grueling, and the progress slower than Buck wanted. Only every now and then Buck would notice something he didn’t before.

Like when Buck went out to a bar with Eddie and Eddie spared the bartender a second little nod after he’d paid for the drinks. Had Eddie found the guy attractive? Buck spent several minutes looking the guy over when Eddie stepped out to use the restroom. He didn’t look like anything special to Buck, but then he guessed he really wouldn’t know. It was little stuff like that…

Then there was just Eddie himself. Buck would occasionally find himself looking at his friend, his mind wandering back down the rabbit hole of questions. Like had Eddie had sex with a guy? Probably, Buck thought. How would that be different from what Buck knew? Did Eddie look for different things in guys as opposed to girls? Buck didn’t have much to judge on, but going from the picture he’d seen Jess didn’t look anything like Shannon had...

“What are you so deep in thought about?”

Buck shook his head, snapping back into the moment. He was at a party Bobby had thrown for the 118th, part of his ongoing wedding celebration, and something of an apology for not inviting any of them to the ceremony. Buck had been watching Eddie laughing over in the corner with Chimney. Eddie had lifted the bottom of his shirt a little to help him twist off a beer cap, giving Buck an eyeful of his abs, because apparently that was on the list of things Buck noticed now. Buck smiled. _He really could be called eight pack._

Hen slid down onto the stool next to Buck and starred at him pointedly. "You going to make me repeat the question?"

Buck shrugged. “Nothing.”

“Mmhm.” Hen nodded over to the corner. “And would nothing be your partner or mine?”

“I’m not anybody’s partner right now.” Buck sighed.

“But you’ll be back.” Hen reached over to squeeze Buck’s hand. “We know you will.”

“Maybe…” Buck’s gaze drifted back over to Eddie and Chimney.

Hen frowned, watching him. "Okay, seriously what is up with you?"

“I said nothing.”

“Right…” Hen rolled her eyes. “You’re just over here making moon eyes at Eddie for no reason. I already told you-“ Hen broke off, and cocked her head, studying Buck a little more closely. “Oh dang…" She blinked slowly. "So that’s what it is…”

“What what is?” Buck asked.

"Nothing." Hen smiled knowingly and patted Buck's back. "When you know you'll know…”

Hen’s words echoed around in Buck’s head long after she left. _When you know you’ll know. _When he knew what? He looked over towards Eddie again, who was talking to some woman Buck didn’t recognize. Something stirred in Buck’s chest, and it was like an entire puzzle snapped into focus around the single jagged piece Buck had been holding onto.

_ Oh._

Buck stood up slowly and downed the rest of his beer in two quick gulps. He gritted his teeth and started walking across the room towards Eddie and the mystery woman. They were laughing together and seemed to be having a good time. There probably weren't many worse times for Buck to do this, but he had to get it done before he sobered up and lost his nerve.

Eddie’s eyes lit up when he caught sight of Buck coming over. “Buck hey, I want you to meet-“

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Buck asked seriously. “Alone?”

Eddie frowned. "Okay." He set his drink down on the table and followed Buck down the firehouse steps and into one of the smaller rooms in the back. "What's up?"

Buck took a deep breath. God he should have rehearsed this-should have waited and come up with something…

“Buck?”

“So the thing is-“ Buck sighed. “I really like pizza...”

Eddie gave Buck an amused smile. “I’m aware...”

“…and like pepperoni is my favorite kind right? But there are lots of other kinds too.” Buck knew he was starting to ramble, but he couldn’t seem to control his mouth. “And like remember last month when Bobby made us all that really fancy specialty pizza thing? Like balsamic and peach something?”

Eddie nodded slowly.

"Well like it looked it alright, but that's not my thing so I wasn't going to try it," Buck said. "But it's Bobby, and he said it's good and I trust him so I tried some…"

“Where are you going with this Buck?” Eddie asked.

“It was really good right? Not better or worse than pepperoni but just different yeah?” Buck stopped for breath, hoping this was all making sense. "And honestly it didn't even really look like pizza at first when Bobby showed it to us, but then he told us what it was-it just kind of clicked… and well…" Buck bit his lip. _Screw it. _He was done waiting. Buck leaned forward and kissed Eddie, just barely brushing his lips before pulling back wide-eyed.

“Oh…” Eddie smiled. “Okay then…”

“Okay?” Buck huffed. “Seriously?”

Eddie laughed. "Hey, I'm not the one who was just comparing somebody to pizza." Eddie frowned a little. "That is what you meant right-that this" he gestured between the two of them. ‘this wasn't pepperoni but-"

Buck nodded. “Yeah.”

"So?" Eddie asked a hint of nerves in his voice.

Buck smiled. “So much better than pepperoni.”

Eddie grinned and leaned forward, pulling Buck into another kiss. "Good."


End file.
